Honoring the men in our lives.

Part 1: “God, Heal My Heart Toward Men”

Before We Can Honor, We Must Heal

Let’s be real—honoring the men in our lives is not always easy. For many women, the idea of giving honor and respect to men is layered with pain, confusion, or simply a lack of example. Maybe you didn’t grow up seeing your mother model what it looks like to respect your father. Or maybe you did—and it didn’t look good.

Some of us have been deeply hurt by men. And even if those wounds happened years ago, they can still color how we speak, how we think, and how we relate to the men in our lives now—fathers, husbands, brothers, leaders, even our own sons.

So before we talk about how to honor men, let’s start where we should always start: in prayer.

“God, I understand that I may have thoughts and feelings about men that are stemming from the past. Heal those wounds, God. Help me to see the men in my life with different eyes. Help me to honor and respect them the way You have called me to. Help me to see them the way You do. Don’t allow me to make the men in my life pay for what others did to me. In Jesus name, Amen.”

This is a journey. And this blog isn’t meant to cover every part of that journey, but to offer some foundational truths—101 style. Let’s move together from complaining and tearing down to building and honoring. This doesn’t mean we pretend everything is perfect. It means we invite God to do a work in our hearts as we reflect His heart to the men He’s placed in our lives.

Next up—we’re going to talk about how to be a Life Giver. Because sis, your words carry power. Let’s use them well.

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Part 2: “Be a Life Giver, Sis!”

Your Words Can Build or Break a Man

One of the most powerful parts of your body is your mouth. Yep—more than your arms, your legs, or your muscles—your words can shape someone’s entire life.

The Bible says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue…” (Proverbs 18:21). And Proverbs 14:1 tells us, “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.”

Ladies, let’s not underestimate the way our tone, our words, and our attitude can affect the men around us. Whether it’s your husband, your father, your pastor, your son—your voice matters. Your voice carries weight.

Here’s the question: Are you building him up or tearing him down?

Some of us talk more kindly to a stranger or our boss than we do to our husband. That shouldn’t be. Respect isn’t about denying disagreements. It’s about how we have them. Disagreement doesn’t have to come with dishonor.

Let’s be wise and careful in the way we speak—especially to the men we’re aligned with in our homes, churches, or community. Speak life. Build. Encourage. Correct in love, not contempt. Let your words be full of grace and seasoned with truth.

And wives—yes, go ahead and flirt with your man! Honor him with your words, your body, and your attention. Take care of your marriage and don’t let it dry up out of neglect. I once heard a godly woman say, “Your husband chose to be with you and only you; and you and only you are choosing not to have sex with him? May it not be so wives!” Whew! That’s another blog for another day, but IYKYK!

#BuildBabyBuild

In the next part, we’re going to dive into the big one: Respect. Buckle up, sis. It’s a game-changer.

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Part 3: “Respect Looks Good on You”

What Every Man Secretly Hopes You Know

Let’s talk about something that hits home for a lot of men—respect.

Just like we as women desire to be deeply loved, men desire to be deeply respected. It’s their love language. It fuels them. And it’s more than just what we say—it’s how we say it, how we treat them, and how we support them even when we don’t fully agree.

Shaunti Feldhahn, who writes beautifully on what men wish women knew, breaks down some of the key areas where we can show respect:

    •    Respect His Judgment

Even if you think you know better (and maybe you do), there’s a respectful way to bring it up. Some men feel more valued at work than they do at home because their coworkers trust their decisions more than their wives do. Ouch. That’s not okay.

    •    Respect His Abilities

Let him try. Let him fix it. Let him find the way—even if you secretly know the shortcut. There’s something powerful about showing him that you trust him. One time I wanted to pull out Google Maps so bad, but I put my phone away and said, “Ok honey.” (And yes, we eventually got there. Lol.)

    •    Respect Him in Public

Please don’t embarrass your man in front of others. There’s a time and place for real conversations—but not in front of people. Public respect builds his confidence. Just like a man feels crushed by public disrespect, he feels like a king when you lift him up in front of others.

Sis, you might not always feel like he deserves respect. But we don’t give respect based on perfection—we give it based on position. He’s your husband. He’s your father. He’s your brother. You honor him because you honor God. Use wisdom. Seek counsel if you’re in a difficult or unhealthy situation. But where there’s room for growth and healing—step into that grace.

Let’s be women who build. Let’s be women who speak life. Let’s be women who respect.

“I respect you.”

Try saying that to the man in your life—and watch what happens.

#RespectBabyRespect

love you!!Melody